Sorry – I am the wrong person to help you come to terms with the young ‘uns driving. Can you even get smelling salts these days?...because there is this physical reaction I have to so many things where I flutter my hand in front of my face as if to fan a little whiff of air/relief into me and I often think about the act of needing smelling salts when I do this. And thinking about my kids driving is one of those things that leaves me weak, fanning the O2 my way, thinking about the salts; by the way, you have to LOVE this definition: A PUNGENT SUBSTANCE SNIFFED AS A RESTORATIVE IN CASES OF FAINTNESS OR HEADACHE, TYPICALLY CONSISTING OF AMMONIUM CARBONATE MIXED WITH PERFUME. I could go for some right now. Seriously, I wish fainting was still popular because I would pull that one out of my ass every chance I got. Anyway...
Since Scot doesn’t drive I have to teach the kids and I am one-down-four-more-to-go, well really three-more-to-go since Kier (17) won’ t drive most likely. Number ONE-SON drove me to the brink, literally DROVE me there, first in my Mini-Van which was impossible for him to parallel park (we found that out AFTER he took his first test in it), then in the appropriately sized Dodge Neon which we bought for him so he could pass his test and be a real-life driver. It wasn’t really anything specific he was doing to make me nutty…just the being 16-ish and the DRIVING-ish part, insisting he was doing fine while I nervous-blinked my way around the block and tapped frantically at the ghost limb of an accelerator and brakes on the passenger side of the car floor. I remember yelling a lot – both of us, in fact I think that may have been the genesis of our current state of “yell-talking” – a pleasantry I had no idea was on its way when they were all babies, cooing at my GOODNESS. Gurgle-gurgle.
When Medusa learns to drive – (NEXT YEAR!!!) I will need to have googled smelling salts and arranged a monthly supply to be delivered to my home with no questions asked. She has already told me with a dangerous glint in her eyes “I’m gonna’ go FAST”.
Yay. Jump up & down, clap my hands, spin around with glee. I love my life.
By the way, how’s Weight Watchers going? The idea of counting points all day long seems like math to me…categorically, this would make me reject it as a viable diet solution. I know this though - you can have about a thousand radishes before your body knows there are any calories involved. A Radish/Kombucha diet sounds hopeful.
Ruby
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
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3 comments:
Smelling salts sound good as I'm putting together an album of many more than 100 paintings, all having to be flattened, sized, correcting colors, and arranging them where they look best....cool next to hot colors, etc to give the eye some interest. it's only taken me 4 days to do this, and then I found out that I did not have pictures of another 25 or so paintings.
It all seems a whole lot easier than teaching someone to drive. I taught Lajla, from Denmark, to drive with a stick shift, and she kept taking her foot off the clutch and brake on a hill constantly...over and over again. Cars were in back of us...where were the smelling salts ?
A Radish/Kombucha diet could leave you faint.
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