Instability

This has nothing to do with your butterball doggy (such a fabulously decadent visual I get of her hanging out on the table, happier than a pig-in-her-own-slop), but…after my fist cup of coffee this morning, I thought I would confess (unapologetically) the following:

I have obsessions that I refuse to apologize for. Here are 3 of my favorites:
• Must use a VERY SPECIFIC spoon for coffee in the morning...literally will let out an audible and emotional sigh of relief when I fear that it’s MISSING and then find it (bought it for 25 cents at Goodwill but love the delicate twist pattern in the handle; a decidedly feminine ‘spoonie’ – I have others, also from Goodwill, that are my “back-up” spoons in case SOMEONE USES MY SPOON BY ACCIDENT and it is in the dishwasher).
• Must use the PINK mug that I bought at Starbucks on I-90 at the Oasis, in the morning; must switch to very round LIGHT BLUE mug (also from Starbucks on I-90) for afternoon and evening.
• MUST NOT MISS THE WEATHER; will feel gypped out of an integral chunk of how my day adds up if I miss the weather – most importantly at 10:15pm CST. It will seriously have a disorienting effect on me if I snooze through it or walk away by accident: "You missed it..." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I MISSED IT!!??" (even though half the time I get busy - right in front of it - and do not actually pay attention; just the proximity to the T.V. and the possibility of this VERY IMPORTANT REPORT seems to have a comforting effect).

I could make this list reach the moon if I started naming more than these 3, and we won’t even mention my mother’s coffee mug with the kite on it (which she loves more than life itself and her four children combined) because we don’t want to think about our challenging genetics ALL the time…(why don't you MARRY it, Mom!)

Truthfully, though, don’t we all do this – at least to a degree? My explanation is this: the Good Lordy knows that there is a lot of stuff that’s up in the air, a lot at risk (especially if you’re me, this month) a lot that is fluid – dizzyingly NOT IN STONE, vulnerable, confusing, annoying…around us all the time, while we try – against all odds sometimes (especially if you're me this month) - to be “O.K.”, do our best (with a drop of virtue), keep marching along, never really getting to see all the cards in our assigned or random decks. IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK THAT I KNOW WHAT SPOON I GET, WHAT SEAT AT THE TABLE, WHETHER OR NOT A TORNADO IS COMING….or sunshine? Just to bask in the glow of a fleeting sense of control...SOMETHING/ANYTHING predictable, thank you very much.

Here’s my all time favorite weather comment…when that Meteorologist says something to this effect:

“A mass of INSTABILITY will hang around all weekend; Monday brings a little INSTABILITY; things are looking a little UNSTABLE this week; looking for an UNSTABLE event to occur; anticipating some major INSTABILITY....."

And, of course, there is comfort in the fact that HE SAID IT, NOT ME...summing up so nicely the fact that we all tread on the same shaky ground!! Wouldn't be surprised if that meteorologist has a rabbit's foot in his pocket, or a favorite coffee cup to pacify himself when he leaves his galoshes at home on a day that gets rainy.

Ruby