When is the 4th of July?

NOTHING interesting has happened in the last few days, do you know that feeling? Nothing that anyone would be the least bit interested in. I feel that way at Christmastime when I get those long blow-by-blow accounts of people's lives. If I did a holiday letter, it would be like "January - Portia got her driver's license, February - not much happened, March - not much happened, April - Portia got in a car accident, May - can't remember...." The only year I did a letter was the Katrina year, because it was all SO absurd, the trash-that-once-was-my ground-floor piled so high that when FEMA came to take it away, they inadvertently took the streetlight with it...by the way, 4 years later, I still have a big hole in my romantically lit front yard. You really don't know what you've got 'til it's gone (that would make a good song lyric). Remember how I rejoiced and bearhugged the mailman when I finally saw him coming down the street? EIGHT months without mail delivery, really, there is no place else in the U.S. of A. where that would be acceptable! We were "green" without even trying...
Speaking of song lyrics, this was the final weekend of Jazzfest, and I am happy to report that if I didn't get Swine Flu there, I will never get it. I laugh hilariously when I hear of people who won't touch elevator buttons for fear of swine-y germs...one minute at JF is equivalent to one million elevator button pushes. People sweating, sharing drinks, a nice breeze followed by maybe a little of the dirt from the track grinding in your mouth, kids laying down and doing grass angels (imagine snow angels, but grosser) in areas peppered with random soft shell crab tentacles and empty ketchup packets...I think of it as building up your immune system...I may have a touch of the Wine Flu, similar but not at all contagious...again, lots of fun music, I had to go hear Tony Bennett, it was like being at a wedding with lots of people holding up their phones after calling their Moms and saying "Listen! It's Tony Bennett!"
We also had 5-7 houseguests, depending upon what moment of what day you were referring to, it only rained the last hour of the last day, so that was good luck. We were having a finale crawfish boil on Sunday night, I had the house looking as good as a house can look with 9 people staying there, but then Zeke and his 5 friends stopped in, wet from head-to-toe, muddy and hungry, and it went downhill from there. One of them asked, "does anyone know when Cinco de Mayo is?"....Ummm, I'm pretty sure it's going the fall on the 5th af May again this year... We are so American!
And sneaking a peek at the week to come...
Allard Blvd. has been having an annual Block Party for 34 years. For 33 years it has been the night before Mother's Day. It's a miracle that it has been able to survive, 24 residents with 24 opinions. What band should we get? How much should be spent? Where should the band set up? Should it always be smack-dab in the middle of the block? No, because the older residents who live there don't like the noise...should it be on the South end of the block where the most participants are? (participation is optional...) No, the residents on the North end of the block don't like that idea... The Annual Meeting, to discuss Block Party is always a lively affair, but somehow we crank out this awesome party every year. For 15 years, there is one neighbor who arrives disgruntled, in fact you can feel his angry aura enter the room before he actually gets there, and his mission in life is to CHANGE THE DATE! He doesn't really know when he does want the party, but he simply CAN'T STAND the current date. He's the kind of guy who throws around the "everyone" concept, i.e. "EVERYONE hates this date, NO ONE will have a party this year"...anyway, after so many years of impassioned pleading, even though he was a minority of one, we all agreed to (gasp) change the date. So this year it will be the Saturday AFTER Mother's Day. In a city that reveres tradition, a city where every restaurant in town serves red beans and rice on Mondays, because that is the day people eat that dish, change is not good. When people saw this year's invitation they were only half-kidding when they exclaimed, "But how will we know when it's Mother's Day?!?!?!?" As I have to tell them, you won't.
Even though the date is printed clearly on the invite, I can pretty much guarantee that people will show up this Saturday. Little hints like no lights strung up and down the street, no band, no tables and chairs will not deter them. And the sad part is I really don't think Disgruntled Neighbor got any joy or satisfaction out of the new date, he was immediately on to other things that bug him. It would be great Karma if it poured rain torrentially this Saturday night, then everyone will feel so good about the change of date!

Patty